FREE 35 RS MOBILE RECHARGE INSTANT

Hindi Sexy Funny Comedy Adult Jokes SMS Massages

Hindi Sexy Funny Comedy Jokes SMS Massages

REDLIGHT area me raid padi.

Police ne sabhi callgirls ko line me khada kiya.

Wahan se gujar rahi Budhiya ne ek girl se puchha: kya hua??

Callgirl ne kaha: Amma, Aam bat rahe hai!!

Budhiya bhi line me lag gai.

Jab Budhi ki bari ayi to Policeman ne kaha-Amma!Aap bhi??

Amma boli-
"bujurg hu to kya??
Chooos to sakti hoon!!..
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lady Doctor Se Bolti Hai:
Dr Saab, Koi Aisi Dawayi Dijiye, Jisse Mere Pati Ka Lund Pathar Se Jyada Sakht Ho Jaye

Dr Ne Ek Gehra Saans Liya Aur Kuch Soch Ke Bola:
Aapko Sirf Chudwana Hai, Ya Masala Bhi Piswana Hai.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lady on phone: Hello! Police station? A man has entered my house & he is raping me right nnoowww. Can yoouu aahh Mhaa Woww ummm ohh yeahh hmm yess yeeaahh harder hmm yeahh arresst him tomorrohh.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2 men are in a doc's office to get a vasectomy (nasbandhi). Nurse asks both men to strip. She begins to masturbate 1st man.

Man1: Why are you doing that?
Nurse: I have to vacate all the sperm in your system to have a clean procedure.
Then she drops to her knees & starts giving 2nd man oral sex and has sex with him.
Man1: Why is it that I get masturbated & he gets a blow job and sex?
Nurse: That sir, is the difference between Mediclaim and Cash payment
---------------------------------------

Kaviyatri ki suhag raat ke baad uski saheli ne pucha-Kaisi rahi suhagraat?
Woh boli-
"Aaye the wo der se,
Dil jala diya,
Pehle kiye Darwaza band,
Fir deepak bhuja diya.
Pehle dabane lage
boob tatolkar,
Fir khelne lage
chaddi khol kar.
Ek jung aisi chidi palang par,
Gole wali toph rakh di surang par,
Mila sirf 9 minute ka maja,
Ab bhogni hai 9 mahine ki saja,
9 mahine baad aisa hoga vispot,
Jo ban jayega Bharat ke liye
1 aur vote...
--------------------------------------------------------------


Morning wala Khatarnaak Joke!

kamjor dil wale na padhe..
.
.
.
.
.
My Friend :" Kal meri girlfriend ka birthday hai,
uske haath mein kya gift du ??
.
.
.
Sam:" Apna de de..
.
.
My Friend :" Mazaak mat kar, koi badi cheez
bata!
.
.
.
.
Sam:" Toh mera de de
-----------------------------------------------------
Santa’s Girlfriend Told Him To Bring The Protection,

Next Time They Go for sex,

Santa Brought, 3 Brothers And 5 Cousins With Hockey Sticks!

--------------------------------------------------------

Mangta hun to deti nahi ho,
Jawaab meri baat ka..!!
.
Aur deti ho to khada ho jata hai,
Rom-Rom jazbat ka..

.
Muuh me lena tumhe pasand
nahi, Ek bhi qatra sharab ka..
.
Phir Kyu bolti ho ke dheere se
daalo, Balon mein phool gulab ka ??
.
Woh Soti rahi mein karta raha,
Intezaar uske jawab ka..
.
Abhi uske haath me rakha hi tha
ke usne pakad liya, Guldasta Gulab ka..
.
Usne kaha pichhe se nahi aage se
karo,
Deedar Mere husn-e-shabbab
ka..
.
Usne kaha bada maza aata hai
jab andar jata hai..
Kano Mein Ek Ek lafz Tere pyar
ka..!! :

----------------------------------------------------

A Man Is Sitting Next To A Woman Who̢۪s
Trying To Breast-Feed Her Baby In A Bus.
The Baby Refuses To Suckle the Breast &
The Mother Warns: â€Å“If YouDon’t Suck, I
Shall Give It To The Uncle Next To Me”.
The Baby Still Refuses.
After About 20 Minutes, The Woman
Repeats The ‘Threat‘.
The Man Clears His Throat& Says: â€Å“Look,
Madam, You Better Make Up Your Mind . I Was Suppose To Get Off Six Bus-Stops Agoâ€Å“
------------------------------------------------------------

A Young High School Girl Wearing Skirt Is Walking Past A Construction Site When One Of The Builders Yells Out.

“Hey Gorgeous! Why Don’t You Come Over Here And Sit On My Face”

Without Even Blinking An Eye, She Yells Back

“Why Sweetheart, Is Your Nose Bigger Than Your Cock!“

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sonia asked Vajpayee: "Tum hamesha tension mein kyun rehte ho?"
.
.
.
.
.
.

Vajpayee: "Main sochta rehta hun, tum bina lund ke hindustan ki maa kaise chod rahi ho.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Friendship Adult Version:

Friendship is not About
'I'm sorry'
Its About
'LUND SE'

Its not about
'Where are you?'
Its about
'KAHA GAND MARA RAHA HAI'

Its not about
'No'
Its about
'GHANTA'

Its not about
'TOO SMALL'
Its about
'JHAANT BARABAR'

Its not about
'TOO BIG'
Its about
'GAND PHAADU!'

Its not about
'DIFFICULTY'!
Its about
'GAND FAT GAI'

And

Its not about
'WE WILL ROCK!'
Its about
'MAA CHOD DENGE'
Spread to all your loving Lodu'

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Santa Banta ne 1-1 ghoda kharida.. Dono ne "SOCHA"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
(abi joke khtam nhi hua)
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
ghode mix na ho jaye,
isliye nishani k liye santa ne apne ghode ki punch kat di..
Unke mohalle k bachhe bade shararti the..
Unhone Bnta k ghode ki b punch kat di..
.
.
santa ne hors ka 1 kan kat diya,
kids ne 2nd hors ka bhi kan katdiya..
.
.
santa ne 2nd kan kat diya, kidsne bhi 2nd kan kat diya..
.
.
Santa ne apne horse ki 1 tang kat di,
kids ne banta k horse ki 1 tang kat di..
.
.
sante ne 1 ankh fod di, bachcho ne banta k horse ki b 1
ankh fod di..
.
.
santa ne dusri ankh fodi to kidsne b dusri ankh fod di..
.
.
Preshan ho k santa ne apne ghode k sare daant ukhad
diye..
Mohalle k bachcho ne banta k ghode k b sare daant
ukhad diye..
.
.
End me santa Banta ne mil k DIMAAG LAGAYA…
(joke abi baaki hai mere dost)
.
.
.
.
&
finally decide kiya k
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
KAALA GHODA SANTA KA
&
SAFED BANTA KA

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sadhu: apne se badi ko maa, choti ko beti, barabar wali ko behen mano

Bhakt: baba aisa karo ye LUND tum hi rakh lo, aapko jadi buti kutne ke kaam aayega.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aaj Uska Dil Phir 'DUKHA' Diya Humne,</3

Apne Pyar Ka Karz 'CHUKA' Diya Humne.:'(

Dekr Lalach Use 'ICE-CREAM' Ka,; 

Andhere Me Apna "LUND" chusa Diya Humne..
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

3Girls shadi k bad mili
1 girl:Mere wo to fnger bhi dalte hai
2 girl:Mere wo to pora hath hi dal dete hai.
3 girl:Apni taangain phela karboli,
Zara bahar ana. :p
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ladki General Store Pe Jaati Hai Aur Bolti Hai
Ladki: “Ek Sasti Si Brazier Dena“
Dukandar: “Ye 100 Ki Hai“
Ladki: “Or Sasti Dikhao“
Dukandar: “Ye 60 Ki Hai“
Ladki: “Or Sasti“
Dukandar: “Lo 40 Ki Dekh Lo“
Ladki: “Arey Aur Sasti Dikhao“
Dukandar: “Oye Chotu, Madam Ko 2 Ice Cream Ke Khali Cup Aur Ek Dhaga De De“
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

REDLIGHT area me raid padi.

Police ne sabhi callgirls ko line me khada kiya.

Wahan se gujar rahi Budhiya ne ek girl se puchha: kya hua??

Callgirl ne kaha: Amma, Aam bat rahe hai!!

Budhiya bhi line me lag gai.

Jab Budhi ki bari ayi to Policeman ne kaha-Amma!Aap bhi??

Amma boli-
"bujurg hu to kya??
Chooos to sakti hoon!!..
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lady Doctor Se Bolti Hai:
Dr Saab, Koi Aisi Dawayi Dijiye, Jisse Mere Pati Ka Lund Pathar Se Jyada Sakht Ho Jaye

Dr Ne Ek Gehra Saans Liya Aur Kuch Soch Ke Bola:
Aapko Sirf Chudwana Hai, Ya Masala Bhi Piswana Hai.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lady on phone: Hello! Police station? A man has entered my house & he is raping me right nnoowww. Can yoouu aahh Mhaa Woww ummm ohh yeahh hmm yess yeeaahh harder hmm yeahh arresst him tomorrohh.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2 men are in a doc's office to get a vasectomy (nasbandhi). Nurse asks both men to strip. She begins to masturbate 1st man.

Man1: Why are you doing that?
Nurse: I have to vacate all the sperm in your system to have a clean procedure.
Then she drops to her knees & starts giving 2nd man oral sex and has sex with him.
Man1: Why is it that I get masturbated & he gets a blow job and sex?
Nurse: That sir, is the difference between Mediclaim and Cash payment
---------------------------------------

Kaviyatri ki suhag raat ke baad uski saheli ne pucha-Kaisi rahi suhagraat?
Woh boli-
"Aaye the wo der se,
Dil jala diya,
Pehle kiye Darwaza band,
Fir deepak bhuja diya.
Pehle dabane lage
boob tatolkar,
Fir khelne lage
chaddi khol kar.
Ek jung aisi chidi palang par,
Gole wali toph rakh di surang par,
Mila sirf 9 minute ka maja,
Ab bhogni hai 9 mahine ki saja,
9 mahine baad aisa hoga vispot,
Jo ban jayega Bharat ke liye
1 aur vote...
--------------------------------------------------------------


Morning wala Khatarnaak Joke!

kamjor dil wale na padhe..
.
.
.
.
.
My Friend :" Kal meri girlfriend ka birthday hai,
uske haath mein kya gift du ??
.
.
.
Sam:" Apna de de..
.
.
My Friend :" Mazaak mat kar, koi badi cheez
bata!
.
.
.
.
Sam:" Toh mera de de
-----------------------------------------------------
Santa’s Girlfriend Told Him To Bring The Protection,

Next Time They Go for sex,

Santa Brought, 3 Brothers And 5 Cousins With Hockey Sticks!

--------------------------------------------------------

Mangta hun to deti nahi ho,
Jawaab meri baat ka..!!
.
Aur deti ho to khada ho jata hai,
Rom-Rom jazbat ka..

.
Muuh me lena tumhe pasand
nahi, Ek bhi qatra sharab ka..
.
Phir Kyu bolti ho ke dheere se
daalo, Balon mein phool gulab ka ??
.
Woh Soti rahi mein karta raha,
Intezaar uske jawab ka..
.
Abhi uske haath me rakha hi tha
ke usne pakad liya, Guldasta Gulab ka..
.
Usne kaha pichhe se nahi aage se
karo,
Deedar Mere husn-e-shabbab
ka..
.
Usne kaha bada maza aata hai
jab andar jata hai..
Kano Mein Ek Ek lafz Tere pyar
ka..!! :

----------------------------------------------------

A Man Is Sitting Next To A Woman Who̢۪s
Trying To Breast-Feed Her Baby In A Bus.
The Baby Refuses To Suckle the Breast &
The Mother Warns: â€Å“If YouDon’t Suck, I
Shall Give It To The Uncle Next To Me”.
The Baby Still Refuses.
After About 20 Minutes, The Woman
Repeats The ‘Threat‘.
The Man Clears His Throat& Says: â€Å“Look,
Madam, You Better Make Up Your Mind . I Was Suppose To Get Off Six Bus-Stops Agoâ€Å“
------------------------------------------------------------

A Young High School Girl Wearing Skirt Is Walking Past A Construction Site When One Of The Builders Yells Out.

“Hey Gorgeous! Why Don’t You Come Over Here And Sit On My Face”

Without Even Blinking An Eye, She Yells Back

“Why Sweetheart, Is Your Nose Bigger Than Your Cock!“

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sonia asked Vajpayee: "Tum hamesha tension mein kyun rehte ho?"
.
.
.
.
.
.

Vajpayee: "Main sochta rehta hun, tum bina lund ke hindustan ki maa kaise chod rahi ho.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Friendship Adult Version:

Friendship is not About
'I'm sorry'
Its About
'LUND SE'

Its not about
'Where are you?'
Its about
'KAHA GAND MARA RAHA HAI'

Its not about
'No'
Its about
'GHANTA'

Its not about
'TOO SMALL'
Its about
'JHAANT BARABAR'

Its not about
'TOO BIG'
Its about
'GAND PHAADU!'

Its not about
'DIFFICULTY'!
Its about
'GAND FAT GAI'

And

Its not about
'WE WILL ROCK!'
Its about
'MAA CHOD DENGE'
Spread to all your loving Lodu'

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Santa Banta ne 1-1 ghoda kharida.. Dono ne "SOCHA"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
(abi joke khtam nhi hua)
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
ghode mix na ho jaye,
isliye nishani k liye santa ne apne ghode ki punch kat di..
Unke mohalle k bachhe bade shararti the..
Unhone Bnta k ghode ki b punch kat di..
.
.
santa ne hors ka 1 kan kat diya,
kids ne 2nd hors ka bhi kan katdiya..
.
.
santa ne 2nd kan kat diya, kidsne bhi 2nd kan kat diya..
.
.
Santa ne apne horse ki 1 tang kat di,
kids ne banta k horse ki 1 tang kat di..
.
.
sante ne 1 ankh fod di, bachcho ne banta k horse ki b 1
ankh fod di..
.
.
santa ne dusri ankh fodi to kidsne b dusri ankh fod di..
.
.
Preshan ho k santa ne apne ghode k sare daant ukhad
diye..
Mohalle k bachcho ne banta k ghode k b sare daant
ukhad diye..
.
.
End me santa Banta ne mil k DIMAAG LAGAYA…
(joke abi baaki hai mere dost)
.
.
.
.
&
finally decide kiya k
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
KAALA GHODA SANTA KA
&
SAFED BANTA KA

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sadhu: apne se badi ko maa, choti ko beti, barabar wali ko behen mano

Bhakt: baba aisa karo ye LUND tum hi rakh lo, aapko jadi buti kutne ke kaam aayega.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aaj Uska Dil Phir 'DUKHA' Diya Humne,</3

Apne Pyar Ka Karz 'CHUKA' Diya Humne.:'(

Dekr Lalach Use 'ICE-CREAM' Ka,; 

Andhere Me Apna "LUND" chusa Diya Humne..
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

3Girls shadi k bad mili
1 girl:Mere wo to fnger bhi dalte hai
2 girl:Mere wo to pora hath hi dal dete hai.
3 girl:Apni taangain phela karboli,
Zara bahar ana. :p
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ladki General Store Pe Jaati Hai Aur Bolti Hai
Ladki: “Ek Sasti Si Brazier Dena“
Dukandar: “Ye 100 Ki Hai“
Ladki: “Or Sasti Dikhao“
Dukandar: “Ye 60 Ki Hai“
Ladki: “Or Sasti“
Dukandar: “Lo 40 Ki Dekh Lo“
Ladki: “Arey Aur Sasti Dikhao“
Dukandar: “Oye Chotu, Madam Ko 2 Ice Cream Ke Khali Cup Aur Ek Dhaga De De“

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1 comment:

  1. PERFUMEWALA TO CUSTOMER
    SAHAB PERFUME LELO
    SAHAB: 25 PAISE WALA DIKHA NA TO
    PERFUMEWALA: TERI GAND ME UNGLI DAL KE SUNGH LE

    ReplyDelete